I Am Waiting

I'll be waiting
By the golden tree
If and ever
You choose to see

I'll be waiting
Transparently
Open your eyes
And there's me

I'll be waiting
Silent and humble
I start to speak
My words jumble

I'll be waiting
For it to become clear
When the smoke has blown
You'll see I've always been here 

God, I know

God, I know...........

I haven't been nice
I haven't been me
I have been so consumed
With what I want life to be

God, I know............

I haven't thought of anyone else
I haven't thought of you
I have no more faith
Despite everything you brought me through

God, I know

I haven't been holy
I haven't been a saint
I have been lately
What a christian ain't

God, I know

I haven't been remorseful
I haven't been true
I have been a puppet
For the devil to speak through

God, I know

You haven't left me alone
You haven't gave up on me
You have given me a task
To further my growth spiritually

Whore

Slit my wrist
Once more?
Again suicide
I've become your whore
Do as you may
I do as you say
I pick up the knife
I make the wound
Deeper than the hole
Inside my heart
The pain I feel restarts
And I end up
Back where I began
I never thought
I'd visit you again

Slip inside
My head again?
This war with you
I'll never win
End it all here today you say
I was going to end it all anyway
I'm use to your game
Beat and abuse me
Like you always do
I can't fight it I'm tethered to you
You always come when I least expect
A subconious thought never the less
Always here my friend, my enemy
I'd give my life for you to set me free

I Feel You

Your kiss feels
So real
On my skin
I do feel

Your heartbeat
So loud and clear
I can't believe
Your not here

Your love
Flowing through me
My body high
I know we're meant to be

Your heart
Is in sync with mine
I searched the world
To find a man so fine

Your far
But our connection alive
If I don't find you soon
I'm not going to survive

Complexities

I can be easy to read
Just like a book
Look a little closer
I'll catch you on my hook

Interpret all my innuendos
I'm as obvious as red
Read between the lines
You could see even if you were dead

The needle in a haystack
Isn't that hard to find
Remove your cataracts
Your wasting my time

Failing an eye exam
Glasses cant make things clear
I become see through
Something similar to sheer

Reexamine your eyes
Take a longer glance
Your still clueless
Dazed in a trace

Balm

I'll be you balm
When things get rough
Ease your pain
When life get too tough

I'll drink the rain
And eat your fear
Lighting no longer
Will scare you my dear

Hold tight to me
And everything will be alright
When you are lost
I'll be your guiding light

Though you may go far
Never feel astray
look to your heart
When you feel you lost your way

I'll be inside
Giving you peace
As long as we have each other
True love will never cease

Candy

I'm a candy bar
Sweet, Chewy, Hard
Can't pick a mood
I'm always rude

I'm a rock
Black, red, blue
Can't pick a heart
I'm just so dark

I'm a fountain
Sad, sensitive, hurt
Can't pick an emotion
I'm on the verge of implosion

I'm very tired
Worn, drowned, finish
Can't pick an end
Will I emend

Alive

I don't want to change my mind
Though I should
I don't want to walk away
Even if I could

I don't want to feel this
For anyone but you
I don't want to live
My life without you

I don't want to sleep
If your not by my side
I don't want breathe
If I can't be alive

More Than A Man

He is more than a body
He is more than a face
He's somebody my heart can't erase

He is more than words
He is more than I thought
He's somebody whose heart can't be caught

He was more than what I wanted
He was more than the guys that preceded
He's somebody I needed

I Can't Hurt You Like You Hurt Me

I Can't Hurt You Like You Hurt Me
If I could I'd try
If causing you pain meant you'd want me
I'd stab you until you die

I Can't Hurt You Like You Hurt Me
If I could just get my revenge
Then you would know
How my love can singe

I Can't Hurt You Like You Hurt Me
If I could see you care
I'd take you to my torture chamber
And pick you apart in my lair

I Can't Hurt You Like You Hurt Me
And that hurts the most
You rode off with her
And I'm left with your ghost

Small town world

Small town world
Traps me in
Small town world
No end, it constantly begins

Small town world
Breaks me open
Small town world
Stops my creativity from flowing

Small town world
Slows me down
Small town world
Just let me drown

Small town world
I row
Small town world
I Over throw

Listen To Your Gut!?

I never thought you'd stay
So why am I shocked you left
I never even saw why you wanted me
Guess my fears came true
There will never be a me and you

I never thought we would end
For the first time ever
I was ready to introduce you to my family
No one else has ever made that cut
Guess I should have never listened to my gut

Don't tell me!

Don't tell me you love me
If you don't want my love anymore
Don't tell me you love me
Then walk out the door

Don't tell me you love me
If you want to leave
Don't tell me you love me
If your just going to tease

Don't tell me you love me
If you don't mean what you say
Don't tell me you love me
If its a game you play

Don't tell me you love me
If I'm not what you want
Don't tell me you love me
If there's someone else's heart you hunt

What I Have When I'm With You

I have my night time
And I have you
I have the sky
And I have the moon

I have my dream
And my dream is you
I have the water
And I have peace too

I have my island
And I experience it with you
I have seen beauty
And I have seen the world new

The Phoenix

I am the Phoenix
Though I have yet to live and rise
In search of freedom

I am timeless beauty
Though I have flaws and imperfections
In search of youth

I am hope
Though I live in the eye of the storm
In search of truth

I am human
Though I am not
In search of love

I am acceptance
Though I surrender to judgement
In search of a family

I am an emblem
Though I don't represent a nation
In search of unity

Us

My love is an ocean
In the night
Vast and unconditional
I see your fright

Your love is liberating
It changes like the wind
I'm not use to
The feelings it sends

Am I?

Am I that insecure I beg you to stay
When I know you don't feel the same way
Am I that insecure I take your abuse
Because finding someone to treat me better seems obtuse
Am I insecure I think you are what I deserve

Am I that insecure I hold on to your ghost
When your heart has found a new host
Am I that insecure I still want you to come back
We are aren't meant to be and that's a fact
Am I that insecure your still my fantasy

Imprint in the sky

My hand touches a cloud
And lightly imprints
Ever so subtle
Leaving a small hint

A shape takes place
Like a marshmallow puff
Spilling in the sky
In a loud gruff

Losing Me

You didn't know what you had
Because you never had the chance to taste
It was something rare
That none can recreate

You let it go
At the drop of a dime
Losing something so expensive
Should be a crime

You fucked up
Plain as day
Your stupid as hell
Nothing more to say

One Drop Of Blood

If you would bleed for me
Just one drop of blood
Then there might be a chance for us
Because then I would know you know
How it feels to hurt for my love
How I was feeling
But most of all
I would know you care
So a second chance
I'd give a look
For you to have all of me
One drop of your blood was all it took

If Only You Knew Me

If only you knew me
My laugh
My smile
Your heart would stay for a while

If only you knew me
My love
My life
I'd sleep soundly through the night

If only you knew me
My truths
My pride
From love you couldn't hide

If only you knew me
My art
My vision
We'd fly from this prison

If only you knew me
My moods
My way
In your heart my head could lay

If only you knew me
What god knows
What god sees
In soul mates you'd believe

Who, What, Where

What must
One see
Who must
One be
To find someone
To be set free

Where must
One seek
Where must
One go
To become deserving
To find a love so

Shy Guy

You were a shy guy
A fly guy
I thought you'd be my guy
You had me twisted up in thoughts of  loving you
Twisted up in dreams of us
You had me twisted

You were a shy guy
A fly guy
I thought you'd be my guy
You had me caught up in you
Caught up in a fantasy
You had me caught

You were a shy guy
A fly guy
I thought you'd be my guy
You had me struck by our similarities
Struck with your interest
You had me love struck

Terms Of Use

You broke it
So buy it
Ain't that how it works?
So buy the heart
You broke
And put it back together
Then give it to another man
Because you don't deserve
To have my heart in your hand

You broke it
Now buy it
No returns
I'm paying the ultimate price
So don't complain
Just fix and give it away
So another can have a heart
That's clean and new
From our relationships start

My American Dream

I really hope she hurts you bad

That girl you just dissed me for

I pray she breaks your heart

Like no other women before

I really hope you bleed deep inside 

From her shredding your heart into 

I pray you feel worse than I did 

When she leaves you black and blue 

I really hope you think long and hard 

About me when crying 

I want you to regret letting me go

When you feel like your dying 

I really hope she screws you up

Therefore you'll never be the same 

You'll never let anyone else in

Regret ever telling her your name 

I really hope you know 

That I was the one

I would have gave you anything 

The world, the moon, and the sun

The Cobain In Me

We all have a little Cobain inside
You know that really dark place that you try to hide
Holding all the sadness and pain
We were put through
When I was kid I never thought
I'd be just like you
Growing out of the pain
Is a lesson that you can't teach
So I write, live, and fly to practice what I preach

We all have a little Marilyn inside
You know that really fragile girl that cries and cries
A bright lonely star
Living in the thought of finding true love
Praying every night to god above
Needing to be accepted and set free
I see your reflection when I look at me
So I sing, act, and bleed to become what the world needs

My Kind

Often dreams play like movies
In the back of my mind
They show me a fate
Where you can be mine

I am the last of my kind
I stand alone in this world
You will have to love me
Because there's only one girl

With no one to compete with
Your love will always stay
There will be no reason
For you to walk away

Dead On Arrival

Love killed me
I died
It shot me
In the eye
Of the heart
I'm back where I start
In yearning
In pain
This situation driving me insane

I thought
I think
Way too much
Which is why
I thought love I'd touch
For just a minute
A second though
My dreams came to life
Then faded so

In the ocean
The waves overtake
I'm drowning in
Bloody heartache
Numb and cold
Sinking deeper
With no relief
With no sight
That I will be alright

I lost myself
In you
In sorrow
There's no tomorrow
Just another
Lonely day
For my savior
To save me
I pray and pray

Screw-Job

Love always leaves me feeling blue
No matter how many guys I run to
They have a way of not being true
I'm left in pain without a clue

Love always screws me over
No matter how many times I wish on a four leave clover
Bottle in my hand I'm no longer sober
To clear my head I drive to Dover

SOME OTHER KNIGHT

I met a boy I met a boy
Thought we hit it off
You were surprised by me
And I by you
Never thought I'd be writing this without a clue

We talked everyday and I was high
Started thinking of the possibilities of you and I
But then the contact stopped and I was confused
I felt as if I was a bit used

So I thought to show you I was interested
Because he knew I was shy
I thought we were going back to normal
But that thought was a lie

And I sit and tore the situation apart
I wish I could rewind back to the start
I blamed it all on me
For any other reason I could not see

Now I still wonder because I can't get you out my mind
What were you thinking all those times
Did I do something to push you away
What is the reason you didn't want to stay

I would of been the best woman you ever known
Such an unconditional love you would have been shown
I felt like this time I finally got it right
But I guess I'll find my prince on some other night

Paint

Be.
Exist.
Acquire.
Do.
Paint.
Sire.

Come.
Breathe.
Exhale.
Soar.
Rise.
Prevail.

Stop.
Relinquish.
Renew.
Fall.
Capture.
Redo.

Truth.
Pain.
Story.
Sadness.
Ends.
Glory.

Imperfectly Perfect

I'm perfectly imperfect
All I can ever be
I'm perfectly imperfect
Just me
A bit impulsive
And I think way too much
Always over analyzing and such

I'm perfectly imperfect
What else can I say
I'm perfectly imperfect
Take me or leave me this way
A bit distracted
And constantly feeling insecure
Always needing affirmation so of your love I'm sure

I'm perfectly imperfect
Beauty is in my flaws
I'm perfectly imperfect
Break down my walls
A bit of a nag
With a mean streak
There's gold inside if you do seek

I'm perfectly imperfect
So why must I compare
I'm perfectly imperfect
And that's fair
A bit neurotic
And narcissistic too
I'm imperfectly perfect for you

I Was

I was dumb for love and in a rush
I was drawn to the feeling inside
I was stuck in a fantasy
Of what I wanted you to be

I was way too obsessive
I was lost in my emotions
I was falling to fast
So why am I shocked I crashed

I thought I was playing the game right
I thought I was finally going to be happy
I thought we were a perfect fit
But I guess my dreams aren't worth shit

I was available more than I should've been
I was wrong about him
I was thinking two
When you were only thinking of you

Crash

As fast as I loved you
Was as fast as I lost you
I known you fly away
From the moment we met
Too good to be true
Such a cliche
But that's the story
Of me and you

As fast as I smiled
Was as fast as it faded
Our love was fated
Written from above
Imprint in the sky
Forever waiting
To be with you
Our heart's tied

That Girl

It's easy to be that girl
With that look in her eyes
It's easy to to be that girl
That manipulates and lies

It's easy to be that girl
That doesn't walk away
It easy to the girl
Who always get her way

It's easy to be that girl
That can break you two apart
It's easy to be that girl
That plays the game of hearts

It's easy to be that girl
That you can't resist
It's easy to the girl
Who does more than just kiss

It's easy to be that girl
That will take your man
It's harder to be the girl
Who's morals stand

Puzzle of love

The puzzle of love
Is puzzling to me
I put the pieces together
And what do I see

I am missing
Some puzzle pieces
To find the answers of love
My will increases

Can you believe
In love at first sight
Another puzzle
I discover I might

I'm puzzled about
My soul mate
Is there such
A thing called fate?

So many questions
My picture incomplete
I'll keep painting
Until its complete

When It Comes To You

Selfish, yes
When it comes to you
Why should I share
Something to good to be true

Different, yes
The things that I say
I never knew
Me this way

Impatient, yes
How can I not
My heart paces
From love's energy shot

Impulsive, yes
The stupid things I do
And I don't care
I just have to have you

Poison

A feeling so ethereal
In your arms
In the night
When you say
Soft words
I come in a trance

A feeling so heavenly
Inside me
Inside you
An acid trip
High on love
I come down

A feeling so mind blowing
Into the sounds
Into the waves
I'm different
So alive
I come into me

I, Me, You

I miss you
If its safe to say
When I think of you
I'm reminded of that day

I knew you
I come to realize
When I saw you again
It was such a surprise

I reach you
Through broken reels
To see you in the flesh
How good it would feel

I hear you
The sweetest voice
I live my life
Because its my only choice

Pretty

Pretty sees
As pretty does
I wish I was

Pretty dumb
As pretty do
I want to be you

Pretty fine
As pretty be
Really look at me

Pretty sad
As pretty is
Could I be his

Pretty stupid
And pretty I'm not
I long to feel hot

Pretty amazing
And pretty sucks
I need to become one of the "pretty" ducks

A Will And A Way

A wave
A hand
A length
To you

A star
A sky
A dream
So true

A way
A prayer
A date
So faint

A knight
A night
A Tale
My saint

Ps. I'm Me

Compare,My hair,Compare
Me, to you, to them
To be, to see, that
I am, what I can, what I need
To know, to do, be nothing like you
Because I am, unique, free
And can, and will, and shall continue
To act, to feel, to breathe,
Exactly like me

Compare, I stare, compare
Me, to her, to me
To be, to see, that
I'm not, what I want, what I feel
To heal, to grow, be more than you know,
Because I am, perfectly, me
And can, and will, and shall continue
To show, to live, my life
Insecurity free

Forgive Me

I don't want pity
And I don't want shame
I'm here to take all the blame

No more excuses
About how I'm jaded
My cancer hated

But I stand
And I say
Sorry for my sins today

Rejection

I know better than they do
I feel it every time I look at you

I see it in me
Which becomes very scary

I have something you don't
I will survive, you won't

I hate that most of all
That you died from your fall

Despite This,

Despite you,
I fly
Despite you
I try

Despite me,
I'm free
Despite me,
A future I see

Despite this,
I'll overcome
Despite this,
Will you still come

Despite life,
I believe
Despite life,
Dreams I achieve

To Ignore

I resent. I think. I do.
Because I hurt, I am, I say
I tried, I fly, I flew
To talk. To breathe. To you.

I numb. I can. I will.
Because I cry, I yearn, I plead
I want, I showed, I need,
To see. To love. To you.

Goodbye

Goodbye was all I heard
Goodbye was your last word
You said it as the end
You said it as we'd never meet again

Goodbye was a burden
Goodbye was certain
You took a pause before your cry
You said my name after goodbye

Goodbye was an internal struggle
Goodbye an elusive puzzle
You slid in an innuendo
You thought I'd never know

Goodbye was heart wrenching
Goodbye my fist I was clenching
Hoping this was all a joke
Some bad dream I'd soon be awoke



Goodbye was all I heard
Goodbye was your last word
Tears roll down my eye
It's been ten years since our goodbye

Raft

I could make thousands of rafts
But the water still wouldn't lead me
To where you will see

I could tweet millions of tweets
And your timeline would drown my plea
For you to come be with me

I could write billions of poems
And send them to your door
Only to find my love washed ashore

I could wait next lifetime
But that wouldn't be right
If I have to set my eyes on a new sight

Decay

I was sweet before the tweet
Now I'm mean and not serene
I was a smile before yesterday
The clouds block your stay

I was feeling in love like a dove
But it faded now your hated
There goes my youth
It breaks like a tooth

Love

Love is about the crazy
Being free and spontaneous
Jumping before looking
Thinking about not thinking
You live on the edge

Love is about the high
Being happy and on cloud 9
Driving to the moon
No gravity, no rules
You live without limitations

Love is about the one
Being made for you
Two bodies and one soul
Finding yourself again
To become whole

Even In My Dreams

Even in my dreams I'm trying to get to you
Even in my dreams that's impossible to do
Even in my dreams I wake in tears
Even in my dreams you disappear

Even in my dreams you tell me to wait
Even in my dreams you reassure me this is fate
Even in my dreams I hear our song
Even in my dreams you don't stay for long

Even in my dreams your hard to feel
Even in my dreams your not real
Even in my dreams I feel your pain
Even in my dreams I wait in the rain

Slipping Away

I feel, I feel

You leave me
I feel that way
Because I set depression free

I feel, I feel
Our connection fade
How do I get back
The friendship that we made

I feel, I feel
I have to let you go
It's part of the freeing
But I don't want to believe so

I feel, I feel
I'll see you again
Maybe next lifetime
We'll actually become friends

I Cant Be Without You

I can't go another minute
Without touching your face
It's tragic
That your in a separate place

I can't live another day
Without you in my life
Im reminded constantly
Repeatedly stabbed by love's knife

I can't breathe another breath
And I don't want to
My intentions clear
Through and through

I can't speak another word
And that's fine
My one wish
Is for you to be mine

Only In My Dreams

Only in my dreams
Can we meet like this
And feel such a passion
Our hearts can't resist

Only in my dreams
Can I break a taboo
I know it's wrong
But what else could I do

Only in my dreams
Do I sleep well
I walk around dazed
Underneath your spell

Only in my dreams
Are you all mine
The one place
That defies all time

Only in my dreams
Can we almost kiss
Look into my eyes
And I'll take you to bliss

Only in my dreams
Do I know it's true
There's no one else
I'm meant for you

How to hurt somebody

When they speak to you
Walk the other way
When they say I love you
Scream so what or okay
Let them get close only to boast
Then push them back like your under attack

When you make plans
Cancel like no big deal
When you get caught with someone else
Lie about how sorry you feel
Treat them like a game, you play until you achieve fame
Hurt them to the core so their heart will want you more

When they give you their all
Take it and give nothing in return
Drain them of all their love
Leave them in pain to yearn
Use and abuse them to break their self esteem so they'll think no one is on their team
That way they won't leave and you can do as you please

Intuition

Don't you feel
Something is wrong
You lay with her
But your heart's long gone

Don't you feel
Something missing
Like another girl
You should be kissing

Don't you want
A little taste of heaven
It's been hard for me
Since I was seven

Don't you want
All my heart
The purest gold
Has been here from the start

Don't you need
Me like I do you
Is my best friend
Missing me too

Don't you need
A Shakespearean love
Everyone wants
An angel from above

Hope No More

I hope that
Sweet tears you weep
I hope that
You can't sleep

I hope you
Are wondering why
I hope you
Feel my cry

I hope he
Is hurting for me
I hope he
Is searching for his she

I hope one
Day we are together
Until then
We'll fight through the stormy weather

Phantasmata

My awake is painful
My dreams are still
I'm somewhere in between

My awake is a monster
My dreams are faint
I'm somewhere else

My awake is a dream
My dreams are awake
I'm in another body

My awake is tainted
My dreams are a game
I'm frozen in time

My awake is god given
My dreams are of heaven
I'm a zombie

My awake can kill
My dreams surreal
I'm learning to be alive

If You Must Know

If you must know
I want to break down
But I have too much
Just to strip down

If you must know
Its a full time job being me
I hate how hard
It is to be free

If you must know
This is my only time to whine
In a few minutes
I'm back to faking being fine

If you must know
A secret I hide
I want to fly so high
My soul becomes unified

Tell Me It Isn't True

Tell me it isn't true
That you don't think of me
Like I do you

Tell me it isn't true
That you don't love me
As much as I love you

Tell me it isn't true
That all my bad experiences
Won't lead me to you

Tell me it isn't true
That you don't need me
Like I need you

Tell me it isn't true
That your heart isn't aching
Like my heart aches for you

Tell me it isn't true
That you don't pray for me
Like I always pray for you

All I Never Had

Can my love life
Be that sad
For some reason
Your all I never had

I'm not Molly
And your not Sam
I'm close to crazy
Reflecting on the dam

Can there not be a living
That I can see
Someone indescribable
Just as twisted and complicated as me

Is my love dead
Because I hate my life
We have a lot in common
We're both full of spite

Letting go is hard
I can't breathe in
How can I sent you away
Your the only one who knows where I been

Stuck On Blue

I don't want to be stuck
On you, on what I know
Just because it's familiar
I want to let go
Of you, of what I know
And get familiar with unfamiliar

I don't want to write the love blues
In songs, in poems
An adventure is long overdue
I want to be alive
For my dreams to come true
Like in the songs and poems

I don't want to be predictable
Like me, like I am
Lets jump off a bridge
Screaming damn
Be crazy and new
Unlike me, unlike I am

CITR

Where do all the ducks go?
I hear in my head
Are they sleeping
In a tropical bed

Where do all the ducks go?
I say in wonder
Are your trapped
Because of a blunder

Where do all the ducks go?
I ask a friend
They answer
"They go with the wind"

Where do all the ducks go?
I think, in the winter
Can they survive
Being the cold's dinner

Where do all the ducks go?
In central park
Are they happy
Or are their days dark

You Can And I Can't

I can't say beauty
Without thinking of you
I can't say love
Without feeling blue

I can't function properly
Without you by my side
I can't see life
Without asking why

I can't say home
Without you here
I can't say I'm happy
Without it being insincere

I can't breathe
Without your touch
I can't love
Anyone but you

I Was Here

I was here
Since the beginning of time
You should have looked
One last time

I was here
You were blind
Your eyes were playing
Tricks on the mind

I was here
Always and forever
I'll wait for the day
Until I'm your endeavor

I was here
Waiting for your hand
The day will come
When your my man

I was here
Alone and depressed
I need my love
To god I'd confess

I am here
In front of your face
Look to the sky
And follow my trace

She Has It All

She has the world
In her hands
I hope she knows
How to treat that man

She has his heart
I wish it was me
How lucky
Would I be

She holds his key
No one can take that away
A special connection
That will always stay

She has his proposal
What I wouldn't give
To be apart
Of the life you live

Be My Friend

Be my friend

When I need you most 

Be my friend 

Let's make a toast 

Be my friend 

When I cry

Be my friend 

When I lie 

Be my friend 

When I make you mad

Be my friend 

When I make you sad 

Be my friend 

When your far away 

Be my friend 

In a special way

Be my friend 

Even in the next life

Be my friend 

Regardless of your wife 

Be my friend 

Hold tight on to me

Be my friend

And never set me free

I Know You

I know you
That laugh
That smile
Am I in denial

I know you
That word
That joke
Eyes blinded by smoke

I know you
That look
That voice
The angels rejoice

I know you
That feeling
That touch
Dead memories I clutch

I know you
That memory
That spark
Your always alone in the dark

I know you
That day
That night
Woke up in a sweaty fright

Blue and Purple

Painted words
From two different worlds
By a jaded girl

Written above
Translucently
For no eyes to see

Drawn crowds
Agape and kneel
Come at your will

Sliding down
Free versed
Cant be rehearsed

Artsy life
Brushes hidden
Freedom unbidden

Visions

I can almost taste your lips
So full and sweet
Engulfing mine
In a blissful heat

I can almost feel your skin
The electricity volts through me
I shake in my bed
From such strong qi

I can almost wipe your tears
They singe my skin
Bleeding my heart
From within

I can almost feel your soul
Inside my own
A special connection
You feel through the bone

I can almost smell your scent
My instincts excite
Only in my fantasies
Can I have my knight

Words

The power of words
Is like to live or die
Such a important decision
Watch how you put them

Saying the wrong thing
Is worse than a wrong turn
One miss placed word
And you can crash and burn

I can make an impact
On your life
Twist it upside down
Or turn it around

Think before you speak
You don't want to be a reason
Added to problems
That already have me bleeding

Can you be so ignorant
You don't see
That your words
Deeply affected me

I look at you in shock
Not able to answer
Your so insensitive
Something's got to give

Keep Me

Keep on loving me
No matter how far you go
Keep me in your special place
And tell me so I'll know

Keep me safe
With you forever
Keep me sane
In a world not very clever

Keep me smiling
From your mercy and grace
Keep me patience
Away from haste

Keep me in your arms
And cradle my unease
Keep me heavenly
If you please

Keep me strong
With a heart so pure
Keep me faith
So I'm never unsure

Keep me god
My world is you
Keep me god
Our bond is true

Just Like Me

Just like my addiction
Your hard to fight
Demons constantly in my mind
Persuading me to leave the light

Just like my drug
It's impossible not to have my fix
My fantasy and reality
Always conflicts

Just like my appetite
I need to eat
Im missing my dessert
So life isn't real sweet

Just like my desire
Knows better than to burn
I ignore my judgement
As the fire inside yearns

Just like my eyes
Can't help but sleep
My heart swells
From it's bloody weep

Sherlock Holmes

To prove to my heart
That we're meant to be
My mind is willing
To lie about what it sees

It trys to recover
A memory never lost
I must remember
At all cost

There has to be
Some sort of deja vu
We met before
I know, I know you

My head searches
But can't seem to find
Any bit of evidence
To prove you were mine

Grilled Cheese

I can't fight you
Why do I try
Your always there
With that look in your eye

You break me down
I'm at your feet
I love you so much
I can feel your heart beat

We are one
You feel it too
The first time you smiled
I knew I was meant for you

Together we found
A fantasy it seems
I didn't expect
A love others dream

I was in a bad way
Before we came to be
Confused and lonely
I thought there was no saving me

It was so unreal how
Like magic you appeared
I didn't want to let you in
Falling is what I feared

Everything started getting easier
I stopped crying in the night
The world was different
With you by my side, I sleep tight

Happiness wasn't deserved by me
I was only good at failing
You showed me my true self
Since then we've been sailing

Where ever you go
I won't be far behind
Your grace and faith
Has made me kind

You ask of very little
Always putting me first
I'll be your mountain
When your at your worst

What you see in me
I have in you
Forever intertwined
Stronger than the mightiest glue

Two

I feel you
And for you too
I hold out five fingers
They don't understand like I do

I am pain
Alive in the rain
You understand
We're one in the same

You are Lifeless
I've made a mess
Transparent beginnings
I detest

Elements of love

Fire and earth
Hear my cry
Fire and earth
Why oh why

Wind and matter
Take me away
Wind and matter
Oh do I pray

Moon and sun
How warm inside
Moon and sun
Where is love's surprise

Water and stars
Cradle me for you
Water and stars
Carry me to you

Wavelength

I'm getting sick of writing
How much I want to be with you
As a friend or lover
Anything will do

I want you in my life
And I don't know why
We're practically strangers
I must be high

Those other girls
Say the same things too
Am I different
Or are we a similar two

I strongly believe our paths will cross
You not liking me
My worse fear
Just can't be

Dear, Bullies

Bullies, hi how are you
I'm a girl you once knew
Bullies, take a second look
When I use to see you my heart shook

Bullies, you kept me in fear
Constantly crying with sweet tears
Bullies, I want you to understand
That you can make someone cut their hand

Bullies, do you know I have feelings
My high school years I was always reeling
Bullies, made school hell
I'm bemused I didn't fell

Bullies, I'm a different me
Confidence it took so much to see
Bullies, I got back what you broken down
I'm no longer scared of seeing you around

Bullies, I am destined for success
No matter what you did, on I press
Bullies, the world shall know
That from oppression you can grow

Ludicrous

For you to look at me
I would stop time
In the words of Sade
Is it a crime

For you to want me
I would die
A dream come true
I couldn't help but cry

For you to love me
I'd give my life
Oh how I wish
You'd make me your wife

For you to kiss me
I would give anything
If I can't have you
Then I'd be settling

For you to make love to me
I'd give up my dreams
For me to say that
A lot to me you must mean

Why I'm Cold

It's not why I'm cold
Because the heats down low
Thoughts of you
Explains my glow

It's not why I shiver
Because its cold outside
Your touching me
While you lay by my side

It's not why I'm burning
Because I have the flu
The fire in your eyes
Has chilled me blue

It's not why I tingle
Because I have an itch
When we make love
I sing in high pitch

Heaven

Heaven so close to my heart
I dream only of you
Bliss in my eyes
I'll tell you a secret so true

Heaven I need you
Don't cast me out
I made my mistakes
Lose your doubt

Heaven my sweet haven
You are my peace
The very reason
My pain starts to decrease

Heaven so ethereal
My scared world
Inside of you
I'm a new girl

Heaven my only light
I come hypnotized
Such a magical feeling
I'm paralyzed

Heaven so perfect
I wish to be like you
Free from humanly ways
Glad I was on your rescue

10 Questions for Love

What are you doing
Often I wonder
It's raining here
As I lay listening to thunder

Are you happy
Or is life going bad
I'm loving me
Getting back everything I had

Do you ever see
Beyond the clouds
If you look a little closer
You'll see me in the crowd

Are you lonely
Sometimes like the wind
Open your arms
So I can walk in

What are your days like
Where do you go
I just want to be like you
Just so you know

What are my reasons
That I search for you
You can't seem to find me
Though I leave many clues

Why can't we be as one
I know your my soulmate
It's been so
Since we left the pearly white gate

Have you prayed
Like I do before I sleep
Our love forever infinite
I count the days like sheep

Hidden Treasure

I'm lined with sliver
But made in gold
So you know
I'm something special to behold

Delicate like a rose
Sweet like summers eve
Rarity in raw form
Your eyes can't believe
Most can't see it
Only the chosen one can
Then I'll know he's special
My god given man

Choices

You don't choose to have me
So why should I choose you
I know destiny plays a part
I'm just so confused

You don't choose to care
Though I have feelings for you
I need you right now
I'm sick with the flu

You don't choose to rescue me
Though I send signals through time
Aren't we soul mates
The sundial's shadow fades

You don't choose to find what's missing
Don't things feel out of place
A backwards game of cat and mouse
Will I ever win the race

You don't choose what most
Would die to have in their hands
I would cherish your heart
Words I don't have to say

You don't choose to love me
But I'd still give the world to find you
My heart tells me you'll find me
My head wants to believe that's true

Seven Deadly Stages

Hellbent or Heaven sent
A little bit of both
I drive hard
Die fast
Live safe
Dream free

Success or a Complete mess
Both I suppose
I love not
Bleed loud
Scream silent
Fantasize red

Very strong or Always wrong
I guess your right
Forging smiles
Sliver heart
Purple mind
Sleep deprived

Blue Nights

Scary is the light that shines bright
It's the sound that creeps
And repeats
Though your sleep

Blue sparks fly up high
Brighten a room unlit
Will I combust
Or am I the shit

Just like magic it's tragic
Amused I'm in wonder
You flash by
Pulling me under

The static crazy timing hazy
Illuminated a fire
Open me up
See my desire

Hole

I'm feeling slightly jaded
Always hated
Alone

I'm feeling creative
Overstated
Embrace it

I'm feeling down
Is that you
No clue

I'm feeling a connection
Through the wind
That can cleanse

I'm feeling free
Almost
A living ghost

I'm feeling twisted
Emotions sifted
And here's me

Part Of Me

Part of me is sad
While the other is strong
It knows you'll be back
Though your long gone

Part of me is lonely
While the other is free
It knows a little longer
Until your with me

Part of me is ripped
While the other is longing
Is there such a place
That I am belonging

Part of me is sick
While the other is full
Does believing in you
Make me a fool

Grim Reaper

I feel like I'm the reaper
Could this get any creepier
I'm scared of my thoughts
My subconscious caught

Blooming in bloom
The darkness too soon
Her eerie words replay
As the situation relays

Sunbeam

I don't talk about the sun much
Because it something I can't touch
Though I wish it's ray wash over me
My sunny days died before I could breathe

 

Can I see through grey eyes
I'm being pulled back into your lies
Stronger than a tornado
A storm through the rainbow

Anyone I Meet

Anyone I meet
Would just be a substitute you
Though I have someone
Id still be forever blue

Anyone I meet
Couldn't come close
There would still be someone
I'm missing most

Anyone I meet
Could never compare
I'd give my dreams up
For you to be here

Anyone I meet
It wouldn't be the same
Flawed but perfect
I love the man you became

Anyone I meet
Wouldn't love me
In your special way
I wish these words you could hear me say

If I Could, Would You Come?

I could scream
Or just come undone
The things I do
Because your on the run

I could bleed
Unconditionally
Would you care
And answer my plea

I could die
From my unsatisfied needs
Your so far away
So all I do is grieve

I could lose
All that I know
Can we switch places
I want to be the one on the go

I could stop breathing
To get your attention
Your constantly on my mind
My name you never mention

I could say
A thousand words
Nothing's good enough for you
I can't be heard

Xylophone

I dream in black and white
Very dull
My mind a crayon
Colors call

Vividly drawn
All I will be
My world gray
Color I can't see

Brightly dim
A struggling flame
The rain has stopped
My rainbow came

Carpe Diem

Life is precious
You must grab ahold
Treat each day like the last
Each moment turn into gold

You never understand
How fast everything can end
We all take for granted
The time we spend

Listen to me
As I try to say
That you need
To cherish each and everyday

Make every second
Last a thousand years
Today you have it all
Tomorrow it could all disappear

Arms to Short

I cannot chase
What doesn't want to be caught
I cannot give
What isn't bought

I cannot free
What isn't mine
I cannot be
A slave to time

I cannot find
What shields its eyes
I cannot love
What constantly defies

I cannot go
Where you stay
I cannot bleed
For you today

I cannot cry
Because it isn't fair
I cannot hurt
If you don't care

My Love Is Your Love

My love is drained
Empty
Timeless

My love is unbidden
Liberating
Finesse

My love is dependable
Heavy
Yet clear

My love is harden
Shackled
Beyond fear

My love is yours
Heavenly
A cure

My love is life
Uplifting
I'm sure

My love is robust
Kindhearted
Without limitations

My love is warming
Tingly
Your creation

Never forgotten

I will never forget
How together we cried
I will never forget
The time we spent

I will never forget
The lessons you taught
I will never forget
Those special words

I will never forget
You comforting me
I will never forget
The connection we had

I will never forget
You being there
I will never forget
You were the only one who cared

I will never forget
My close friend
I will never forget
Though we reached an end

Yours

My heart
Beats for you
Bleeds for you
Is yours

My heart
Stops for you
Dies for you
Is yours

My heart
Hurts for you
Stained for you
Is yours

My heart
Explodes for you
Flies to you
Is yours

My heart
Is indebted to you
Connected to you
Is yours

Nothingness

I look to you
You look away
I stare you down
Your eyes don't come around

I cling to you
You pull away
I hold you close
You leave me with your ghost

I speak to you
You don't answer
I scream your name
You play your own game

I love you
You don't care
I show you my love
You fly away like a dove

Dear Suicide,

Suicide, your not my friend
I never thought we'd meet again
Suicide, what can I say
I'm looking forward to another day

Suicide, makes me blue
You lie to get people to leave with you
Suicide, I'm stronger than before
I don't need you I couldn't be more sure

Suicide, a subconscious thought
That is no longer sought
Suicide, stop trying to make me bleed
I remerged a different breed

Suicide, I'm not on your team
I know all your dirty schemes
Suicide, we reached an end
You were something I killed within

Changes

The butterfly inside me is finally free
I was trapped in life
Trying to discover me

A poet hides within she
Drunk in illusions
Just let her be

Heaven abundant yet far
I am soaring high
But I can't get there in a car

Something is missing
I know not
My conscience start hissing

Within Myself

Frozen
Cold
Black
Untouchable
Marked by the letter T

Shunned
Alone
Isolated
Forgotten
Set my pain free

Trembling
Scared
Depressed
Tired
Starting over will bring a better day

Bright
Redemption
Fear

Happiness

Somethings always in the way

Flashbacks
Pain
Requiem
You
Even though you weren't mine

Passion

Love

Freedom

Death

Your eyes told me we met at a previous time

A Million Reasons Why

I hate you
Not only could you sing
But your a genius as well
You wrote so abstractly
I'm in everlasting hell

I'm tormented by you
Your constantly in my head
He plays a mean guitar
Gifted and blessed
I can never get that far

I hate you so much
Why did you speak to me
You left me here
Useless and alone
Struggling to make your message clear

I Reminisce a moment with you
The anger rises slowly
I become irate
Your voice calms me
I realize it isn't you I hate

Sad As You

Sad as the day comes to pass
Sad as a blue flower in a rose field
Sad as a moment that never came
Sad as one person in pouring rain

Sad as a heart in shatters
Sad as an abandon movie set
Sad as no story to tell
Sad as the last farewell

Sad as being abandoned
Sad as dying alone
Sad as never fitting in
Sad as this poem's end

Sad as a new day all the same
Sad as never being free
Sad as losing life's game
Sad as heaven being ripped away

Sad as an invisible rainbow
Sad as never finding the sun's rays
Sad as always being stuck in snow
Sad as suicide's cries

GPS

I don't understand why
You can't find your way
I left a trail to my heart
A place your head can lay

What can I say or do
To make you see
That you'll be unfulfilled
Until you meet me

My arms are open
And alone I wait
Universe set the trap
All thats left is for you to take the bait

Prophecy

My dreams before me
Like the desert storm
All I see
Secrecy I'm sworn

My dreams untouchable
But not fictitious
I'll do whatever it takes
I'm vicious

My dreams epic
Bigger than me
History in the making
A great story to see

Keith Part 2

Keith and I
Never did agree
He always comes back
Just to haunt me

We sit in silence
One time to many
Amplifying my resentment
I need a glass of Henie

Keith taunts
And adds to my pain
He knows exactly how
To play with my crane

Oh how I wait
For my revenge
I'll burn him with fire
Surely he'll singe

Soon Keith will know
I'm the wrong one to screw
He's very evil
But I am too

Painting

I want to tell a story
But what would I say
Speaking softly
Words don't come my way

I want to tell a story
So abstract and bold
Incomprehensible
The room is cold

I want to tell a story
One like yours
Impressions last
And I explore

I want to tell a story
But my painting unclear
A dramatization
Through my uncried tears

I want to tell a story
About your eneffable beauty
Pictures can't capture
We would need a movie

I want to tell a story
Oscar worthy
Anything less
Would just be scurvy

Dream EPIC

My heart is with you
And I can't wait
I'm trying to be patient
But I know this fate

My obstacles abundant
So my fear rises
I can excel
I'm full of surprises

Again my tears fall
I'm aching inside
The separation kills
Every inch of my pride

A mans world
I'll shake it around
A tornado's brewing
Ready to come through town

An underdog
I always been
Though I hear "no"
I'm still going to win

One far away day
My face everywhere
A vision foretold
You better beware